To be, or not to be….that will always be a question.

As a species of living and breathing beings, we carry an energetic consciousness that requires more than just patience and love. We require compassion, empathy and service toward others as well ourselves.

At times, self correction for the mistakes, for creating situations that were and were not in our control, while trying not to set aside the most critical part of ourself – our soul.

Life is an experiment to some, to others a gamble, although any way you look at it both require a great deal of strength, courage and discernment.

I had a hard life beginning at an early age, challenged by the construct when my mother fell critically ill with MS where in a matter of a couple of years I was caring for her by her bedside every day for the remainder of my childhood. As the perfect child, I was the happiest child around. I had the most loving family, extremely close circle of family and friends, little baby brother and two beautiful white cats. Then one day, life took a drastic turn when my mother felt faint and started having tremors, leading up to using a walker and then wheelchair to finally bedridden permanently by 12 years old. Every day, I would rush home from school to care for her and see how she was doing. Twice, she went into remission and could walk again, eat by herself, garden, smoke a cigarette….for only one day each time.

To this day, I still feel the pain. I had always hoped she would go into remission so life could be normal again, and for her to be able to have her independence return. I would watch her cry and then I would cry with her. I felt so helpless. She needed to let go of everything, mentally and physically and life in general as she once knew it, to survive the rest of her journey. To my dismay, her spirit remained very much alive. She taught me more than anyone else I have known – the soul is stronger than you think.

Along the journey, life threw more difficulty over the years. The records thicken, the heartbreaks more painful, there was no sight of relief from the emptiness. I was lost in a world with no one to rely on except my dad who works nights and never emotionally available. I had no real purpose other than to care for my mother, confused, sad and distraught over matters that did not pertain to my evolution – and different, very different. Alienated from family, friends, school mates, I was known as the child with a sick mother, as though her dis-ease was contagious.

The interesting part of it all is our vulnerability. Tossed into a world with no defense and nothing to fall back on except our ego, a type of curse or tool (depending on how you choose to use it).

Life’s innumerable situations have made me harshly scrutinize its fairness and validity. Intuitively, I know we are meant to thrive as a species – a god given rite. Too often I was judged for my choices and lifestyle, albeit not always my own. But at the end of the day, I remained one with source and that is what kept me moving forward to this day.

I was identified as the lost child, surely in all the records filled with all the IQ and EQ scores, psychologist after psychologist could not see me. High scores and low marks in school, what they thought was wrong with me couldn’t have been further from the truth. I wasn’t troubled because nothing was wrong with me, I was taking care of my mother and had little time for homework which heavily affects your grades. I was different, yes, but I saw myself as a spirited or gifted child, embodying the true essence of something greater than what we are in form. People could not understand me, or didn’t like that I was different, and so something must had been wrong with me.

The gift of being alone in a world I believed was so magnificent was heartbreaking but also the greatest gift of all, for it gave me foresight, and as close as I could get to autonomy. It was hard to do at such a young age, but I did it. I prayed, and prayed every day for salvation. And then one day, the spiritual intelligence inside me finally spoke back. Some choose to set it aside, no matter what age – a cynical scene of spiritual bypassing.

Human conditioning, persuading everyone to accumulate as much as possible until the day comes when they realize they have accumulate nothing more than baggage, to pass on to others – except of course the minimalist who never gives anything any real thought.

A life worth living comes with connection, for the divine is not willing to connect with those who do not wish to connect. Our inner and internal worlds, always against the environment, how can we thrive in a world where there are inconceivable amounts of elements thrown our way?

Thriving in today’s world is next to void, and the raw truth, it is about survival. The odds are against you, naturally. I contemplate this daily, “Why would our soul (or source) want to place us here?” Some believe we volunteered, some must had thought we could outrun the pain with illusionary armour, while others believe we are here to live well.

This brings me back to my days in university as the indoctrinable student, where my professors always thought I was interesting and offered placements in their classes if they were full because I would question everything. The only course I attended religiously – political philosophy. I knew if I was discerning enough it would lead me to rediscovering the truth within myself.

One topic that really shook the classroom was Plato’s ‘The Good Life”. Ahh, Plato. My favourite because he knew stuff, real stuff (if he really existed). Regardless, philosophy is all in theory after all.

Plato referred to it as achieving it by pursuing truth, beauty, and goodness, which are essential for personal fulfillment and virtue. He emphasized that living in harmony with one’s inner nature and cultivating virtue is key to leading a meaningful life. His pupil, Aristotle, never true to his nobility or his own morals, believed in ‘truth making’, that the soul lacked intelligence and required governance, dismounting Plato’s teachings from the true meaning of autonomy, or individual sovereignty. This leads to true enlightenment. You rely on you, your power, and your intelligence – the only three things that are real when you leave. I’m referring to the oversoul, nothing more than all three combined.

Naturally everything bonds, from the materia to the subtle universal energies that holds everything together, in some organic or inorganic way. As children, we believed the only requirement for life was a healthy bond with our mothers and/or fathers, if you were fortunate enough to have one, or both. Although the soul does not bond, it molds and mends into the materia.

The fall of man – or even an empire – has never been the cause of man, as all great masters know, but the failure to recognize his soul. When something is lost or failure happens, it is due to a loss of quintessential essence. There’s a separation of energy, the lost bond is what we feel the most. That is the real pain. Not the emotional rollercoaster as if we are reliving something but that our essence has been divided once again, into shatters of broken dreams. Dreaming is what keeps us thriving, of become whole again.

Fortunately we are light, human as a condition. All the opportunity is present before you. We hold the power of both worlds in our grasp, if only we allow ourselves to speak from the soul level.

The good life….‘Shakespearean’, ‘Michelangolean’ or Platonean? The real beauty in life? You get to decide.

“The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

― Michelangelo